Hanala Balena Norey!

Jengo mango jadango flango sebulba!

Q'apla!

(No this has no real meaning. I was winding down my evening by reading random Dark Legacy comics and this one, which happens to be one of my favorites, came up. I now return you to your regularly scheduled internet browsing.)

My Favorite Dilbert Comic

I know it doesn't have the same effect without Scott Adams' art, but I thought of this Dilbert comic strip today and thought I'd share -

Man: (on the phone) Is this the "Help Desk"?

Dogbert: (on the phone, wearing a headset) No, that group got reengineered out of existence. I'm the new "no help whatsoever desk." My job is to make sure you never call again.

Man: Can you tell me how to make a pie chart?

Dogbert: Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour. While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named "Manual." Repeat the process until you get the desired result.

Man: (sitting in front of oven, manual in hand) This lost a lot in the translation...

Ahhhh, Dogbert. Cheeky puppy.

I'm Lost

Spoilers for the "Lost" episode aired on March 25, 2009 follow. Do not read further if you do not wish the episode to be spoiled!

----------------------------------

Okay, I've accepted the fact that the there's time travel in "Lost" now. But what I don't understand is how they justify the causation of events.

From an overhead timeline perspective, in the '70's, Ben gets shot by Sayid. Presumably, it's this event that sparks him to retrieve information on the Oceanic rat-pack and have it waiting for them when they crash-land in the 2000's. He then is all creepy and messes around with Sayid, jerking him around the world and manipulating the ever-living crap out of him. Sayid gets caught, gets on the Ajira plane, gets sent back to the '70's where he meets kid Ben and gets the bright idea to shoot the little creeper, setting us off on the whole chain of events again. Time loop!

Which came first, Sayid shooting Ben or Ben manipulating Sayid? My head hurts.

Ferraro, I need you to run this down for me - you watch, explain! I don't get it.

Fat-Fingered Intervention

Let me paint you a picture.

The scene is Obsidian Sanctum earlier this year. A group of guildmates is looking to kill Sartharion with 1 drake up but they're short a healer. No one with a heal button is online, aside from those all ready in the raid.

I log in and ask in guild chat what the good word is, and they respond with their situation.

An alarm goes off in my head. DANGER DANGER, HEALING NEEDED. HULL BREACH IMMINENT. Healing is not my thing.

Someone in my brain deftly turns off the alarm.

"Sure, let me get my healing gear together, I'll help out."

The nine of them are waiting around while I haul my holy gear out of the bank and find it unenchanted and ungemmed. I also go to the trainer and find that this is the first time I'm speccing holy since 3.0 hit servers - I had never before trained Beacon of Light.

As they have been waiting for a while, I'm furiously trying to get my shiznit in order. I fly around Northrend buying rep items, log over to my bank alt to retrieve enchanting materials and buy some cheap gems, and then rush down to Obsidian Sanctum, where a jewelcrafter and enchanter are waiting for me, along with the raid.

I run up to the enchanter in a tizzy, trying to verify that I've got everything I need and holding two other conversations at the same time - one with a guildie holy paladin to figure out what holy healing is all about in WotLK, and the other with the jewelcrafter asking what cuts for the gems I have he can supply.

Somehow, in the midst of it all, I mouse over my enchanter friend and press a button.

That button just so happens to be my Divine Intervention macro.

So, now I'm lying face down on the floor of the Wyrmrest Temple, at the feet of a guildmate, with my unenchanted and ungemmed holy gear on, in a spec I had never tried, frantically trying to reset my action bars. And then a healer logs in.

I cursed. A lot.

That, my friends, is my Fat-Fingered Intervention story.

(I ended up going and failing at Sarth-10 1D at that time, so we just killed 'em regular. And I vowed "no more healing." Which I kept to last night when I let an entire batch of off-set holy gear get disenchanted in Naxx-25 rather than pick it up and stash it in the bank. I'll leave the holy healing to the more experienced and the experts, thankyouverymuch.)

Running On Empty

I've had a bit of writer's block lately. In trying to avoid whining about Seal of the Martyr recoil killing us all and Spiritual Attunement being yanked from baseline abilities (and the subsequent death of off-spec tanking), I'm at a loss as to what to write about. Other than ascending to the status of uber-paladin, acquiring all my best in slot armor, and achieving 5k damage on Patchwerk, I've achieved most of what I set out to do, both blog-wise and game-wise.

• I finished the Glory of the Raider achievement through a combo of pick-ups and off-hours guild runs.


• I've maintained my ret FAQ to the best of my ability.


• I created some semi-useful gear lists for aspiring ret paladins.


• I lead a PUG raid through Naxx-25 and cleared it out.


• I've tanked or DPS'ed just about every encounter in this expansion.

So, now I turn to you, the reader. What do you want to hear about? What would you love to see me write about? I need some direction, because the only thing on my mind right now is a lovely image of a cooked crab in response to Ghostcrawler's recent tidings of retribution changes.

So, talk to me, people. I don't want this to turn into me whining about changes the developers put on the PTR. What do you want to read about? Leave your requests in comments or send them via e-mail.

Ret For A Day

Taking a page once again out of Meg's playbook, I present to you another song parody. This time, instead of cutting myself, we're channeling Green Day...

To the tune of "King For A Day" by Green Day

"Ret For A Day"
Started back in Molten Core
My pally got a legendary score
Went scrounging materials for
The most bad-ass mace you ever saw

Big hits and crits and DPS kits
Weren't meant for only rogues
Grab that mace and smash some face
We're making room for the one and only

Chorus:
Ret for a day! Respecced by dawn
Ret for a day! Swapping after this song
Ret for a day! Respecced by dawn
Just wait til all the noobs get a load of me

My guildie threw me in therapy
He thinks I'm not a real DPS
Who put the pal in the paladin
Don't think I'll heal your group

Chorus

Big hits and crits and DPS kits
Weren't meant for only rogues
Grab that mace and smash some face
We're making room for the one and only

Chorus x2

Inspired by this Maintankadin thread and my recent stints as protection. After I read that forum thread I couldn't get the Green Day song out of my farking head. So I wrote this.

Screenie Meme

Siha tagged me, and I'd be rude not to participate.

Problem is I don't have multiple screenshot folders. It's all dumped in one folder.

So, here's the sixth screenshot in the folder:


My paladin, in Burning Crusade, in his Karazhan tanking gear, posing outside of Shattrath. I was trying to get a good shot of him raising his shield so I could use it as a forum avatar.

Here's the sixth screenshot of the ones I never labeled:


That's me doing a nostalgia raid at 70 in AQ40 after achievements went live. I'm pounding away at Viscidus. Fun note - the only frost damage we had in the raid was one mage and a shaman (FROST SHAWK!).

And one for fun:


My guild's first Illidan kill. I was literally one of the last two standing. You may remember such screenshots from previous blog posts.

I ain't taggin' no one, 'cuz I think these meme things are like chain letters. Yes, I'm that guy, I'm not passing this chain letter on.

... but Suicidal Zebra, Klepsacovic, Honorshammer, Rohan, Pike, and Runycat can post some if they like.

Ratshag is a Pirate

Read anything that Ratters writes in his Orcish alter-ego. Example here.

Now read how 8-Bit Theater portrays Bikke the pirate in Brian Clevinger's latest installment.

"I don't know what no 'medafrohicky' be, all I's knownin' is ye better turn this
ship about to shoot them broadside."

Tell me that you wouldn't mistake Orcish for pirate if you didn't know the characters involved.

Conclusion? Ratshag is a pirate.

Lightbringer > Judgement

I have a confession to make.

The Lightbringer armor set is my favorite.

I know everyone loves the Judgement (tier 2) set and thought that it was the best, but I love that tier 6 goodness.

Why?

1. Lightbringer looks like armor.

Judgement set looked like cloth. The inquisitor look was forboding/intimidating, but it didn't look like it offered much protection. Lightbringer, on the other hand, looks like it's made of plate/metal. Sure it's a little gawdy/ornamented, but at least an arrow won't pierce it without a ton of force.

2. Lightbringer shines.

The paladin is a "warrior of the Light," and everything they do is s'posed to represent truth, justice, and the American Azerothian way. Judgement armor makes a paladin look like he's been hanging out at an S&M convention or inflicting some sort of torture on sinners. Lightbringer is shimmering golden platemail that literally radiates light.

3. Tirion Fordring wears Lightbringer.

If it's good enough for the mightiest paladin currently alive in Azeroth, it's good enough for me.

4. Lightbringer is named after the greatest and first paladin.

Uther was a man. Uther was a paladin. Uther was awesome. There's a reason that there's a monument and memorial near the now-ruined city of Lordaeron commemorating his life and sacrifice.

5. Lightbringer's color scheme matches that of the paladin charger.

Black and red with blue and gold is not as cool as blue and gold with gold and blue.

Plus, while Lightbringer's halo-helm looked stupid, I can hide my helmet. I can't hide Judgement's skirt/kilt thing.

I kept my full season 3 Vengeful set together and wear that and my Sulfuras for vanity screenshots. I'm considering toting that stuff around with me whereever I go instead of my tank gear, just for kicks.

Because I think the pic looks good, here's my current avatar on a bunch of forums that proves Lightbringer looks better than Judgement. That's alls I'm sayin, yo.

Help Me Hurt Them

I know Megs does these all the time, so I thought I'd try my hand at one. This ballad is how I feel about Seal of the Martyr and the healers that make it work. Get your rotten tomatoes ready, this is going to be horrific:

To the tune of "I Touch Myself" by The Divinyls

"I Cut Myself" - sung to a healer
I cut myself
I want you to fix me
When my health is low
I want you behind me
I hurt myself
I want you to heal me
I bleed myself
I want you to infuse me

Chorus:
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I cut myself
I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

You're the one who makes me healthy honey
You're the buff that makes me leet
When you're around I'm always bashing
I want to declare it on the street

I cast my seal
And see you behind me
Know I would die
If you were to forsake me
Recount can see
Just how much I need you
I get down on my greaves
I'd do anything for you

Chorus

I cut myself
I want you to fix me
When my damage is low
I want you behind me
I hurt myself
I want you to heal me
I bleed myself
I want you to infuse me

Chorus

I want you
I don't want anybody else
And when I think about you
I cut myself
Ooh, oooh, oooooh, ow!

Chorus

Disclaimer: Josh does not actually cut himself, this is merely a commentary on the interaction of Seal of the Martyr / Seal of Blood, paladins, and their healers.

Mental Checklist for Retributive Justice

Before pummeling anything with your weapon of choice, you must make sure that you are ready. Use this flowchart to be positive that everything's in order.

Ret Flowchart

To All The Paladins I Loved Before

Thank you Honors and Siha for the link-love for BHB. It's good to know it's got the support of my paladin brothers and sisters-at-arms. I don't know that BHB will be quite as successful as Tankspot, Maintankadin, or PlusHeal, since melee DPS is a narrower focus than tanking or healing with less intersection of topics amongst the classes, but hey, you gotta at least start the engine to see how far the car will go. Or, as Matticus loves to quote, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take" (Wayne Gretzky).

In other paladin news, Pike started a paladin. I recommend a head exam. Leveling a paladin is excruciating, despite the changes made to the class. And leveling prot before you have access to Holy Shield? Might wanna go for the full-blown psych evaluation. Level ret, Seal of Command and strength gear are your friend!

But who am I kidding? I leveled as prot for my formative years too. I was stupid then, and didn't know hit rating from my own arse or what "uncrittable" amounted to for tanking (I used to tank Stratholme dead-side with my ret gear on and a shield strapped to my arm!), but it still was fun getting bashed in the face and not dying immediately. I just didn't know how much *more* fun ret was at the time. BIG YELLOW NUMBERS, YEEHA!

I'd also like to make a note on my glyph analysis - a reader, Coristad of Kul Tiras-US, sent me a spreadsheet detailing out how Glyph of Avenging Wrath is more DPS than Glyph of Hammer of Wrath or Glyph of Crusader Strike. Here's what he said:

I think there is another way to look at your glyph analysis. You did your analysis purely on the basis of mana-consumption which is understandable, but undervalues Hammer of Wrath.

Thanks to Sanctified Wrath, HoW crits at an abnormally high rate. The damage it can be "counted on" to do, therefore, is vastly disproportional to its mana cost. In situations where mana is not a constraint- let's say the last 20% of a boss's health- mana consumption becomes irrelevant and the name of the game is to simply cram as much damage in as short of a period of time as possible.

In the atached spreadsheet, I modelled a few different scenarios. The first set of scenarios was a 20 second burn down, the second set of scenarios was a 10 second burndown, all timed to coincide with an Avenging-Wrath induced beatdown. All data comes from an recent Sarth fight of mine, so no Exorcism to figure in. The damage for each ability was "weighted" by its crit rate. White swings are excluded because they are not relevant to the analysis.

The short version is that over a 20 second run, the Glyph of Avenging Wrath would net *me* 35% more damage (about 16.6K more), and 42% more over a 10 second burn (due to less GCD clashes).

I currently run with Judgement, Consecration, and HoW for my glyphs, and I almost never have mana issues. I don't think Glyph of Crusader Strike is necessary with smart use of replenishment and consumables. Therefore I contend that more damage is better, given that mana is only occasionally a problem, and so the maximum DPS combination of Glyphs is actually Judgement, Consecration, and Avenging Wrath.

I'd just like to clarify my point. Glyph of Avenging Wrath is the highest DPS option amongst your 3rd major glyph options, but comes with several strings attached. If the fight doesn't lend itself to saving your wings for the last 20%, then you won't get full value. If you manage to burn too much of your mana and don't have ways available to replenish your resources when 20% rolls around (Divine Plea on cooldown, potion used, Lay on Hands on cooldown), then you won't get full value, since Glyph of Avenging Wrath will ramp up your mana consumption while active. If the boss becomes unattackable for any reason during the 20% phase and your wings are up (Sapphiron takes off and you're hiding behind an ice block, or the boss teleports away like Heigan or Noth, etc), then you don't get your full value. All in all, you need three things to happen when you're using Glyph of AW:

1. You must have saved enough mana to support an extra 2k mana consumed (minus the mana used on Exorcism/Holy Wrath/1 odd strike, as they would get bumped from the skill cycle).
2. You must have your Avenging Wrath cooldown available
3. You must have all 20 seconds of your Avenging Wrath duration as on-target boss DPS.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that yes, Glyph of AW will give you the highest damage output of any of your 3rd glyph options, but only if you can work within its requirements. Glyph of CS and Glyph of HoW are more broadly applicable, and therefore are safer options with very tangible benefits. Sure, they're just mana saving glyphs, but if you save enough mana, you might be able to use a Potion of Speed instead of a Runic Mana Potion, which will still up your DPS. Remember, haste isn't bad, it's just not as good as an equal amount of strength.

Coristad fired back with the following:

I don't think 2 and 3 are really substantial objections. Even making frequent use of of AW, it's not unrealistic to say that there are situations where you're not going to pop it immediately, especially in heroic raids where you can expect the raid leader to synchronize heroisms, drums, etc. If your AW comes available at 25%, would you use it or wait until 20%? Also, as my model shows, having less than 20 seconds IMPROVES the performance of HoW. insta-cast (can be cast while running, flying backwards, knocked up in the air) ranged damage that crits lke crazy, and I can use it every 3 seconds? Yes Please!

I will grant you that increased mana usage is a concern. There are a few dead spots in the models where a potion could be chugged. Divine Please could also make an appearance. My feeling, however, is that I am doing fine on mana without the Crusader glyph for extended fights. If there's any kind of splash damage flying around I am hard pressed to spend all of my mana.

The big picture is that I don't think it's worth automatically dismissing the Glyph because it does not promote mana efficiency. There is at least one other way to look at the problem, and that's in giving you more burst damage. After doing this modelling, I figure it's at least worth the couple of gold to try it out.

So, I leave it up to you, fair reader. Glyph of AW might be worth it. If I can figure out how to post Excel spreadsheets to Blogger I'll make his workbook available for your consumption. I might even replace my Glyph of Crusader Strike and give it a whirl.

Mutterings and Mumblings 2-3-09

If I join one more OS-25 PUG where there are several people who
a) don't know the fight,
b) don't know where the flippin' instance is, or
c) stare at the wall of fire coming at them instead of moving the f!#$ out of the way,
I might just take to the streets in a fit of rage.

There are too many melee DPS out there right now. Everytime I form a PUG, I get rogues, warriors, death knights, and ret paladins coming out of the woodwork to join. The worst part about that is all but the rogues want everything I want loot-wise. Titan's Grip and tons of death knights have flooded the two-hander market with buyers, so if I ever do run Naxx-25 in a PUG, I have no doubt that I will lose the roll for any weapon I want under an avalanche of fury warrior/death knight/other ret paladin rolls. I demand to know - where are all of these plate-wearers coming from, and why are they always in my raids rolling on my DPS loot?

I think I'm going to have to farm up some more gold and buy a Darkmoon Card: Greatness. Loatheb's Shadow is elusive and Fury of the Five Flights requires physical DPS to stop coming into the same OS-25 PUG's as me.

There aren't enough quality pick-up players on Malfurion. Every PUG I join either goes splat or wins in spite of itself. I want to start my own "regular" PUG group where I actually evaluate the players who come and establish a pool of public raiders that aren't morons, but my play-time is too erratic to do that. Ditto for joining another guild - play-time is too erratic to commit to a raid schedule.

Malygos doesn't drop anything of serious interest to me. I don't know why I bother with him.

My guildmates aren't online much outside of 25-man raid times - guild chat is a ghost town on off-nights. It's making my quest for a red proto-drake grind to a halt.

My death knight 2v2 partner disappeared 3-4 weeks ago. Anyone with information on his whereabouts, please contact me immediately.

On that note, I haven't PvP'ed much at all lately. The shine is starting to fade off Wintergrasp for me.

Under what circumstances can death knights dual-wield and actually be effective? Thus far, every death knight I've had tanking for me that opted for dual-wield, be them unholy or frost (haven't seen a blood DW DK), have been sorta low on the threat meter. I don't see the appeal of dual-wield on a DK, especially if low threat is the result.

I tried creating a favicon for E4AE, I couldn't get Blogger to recognize it. I don't know what I did wrong.

I've been fiddling with the formatting on the blog, I think I'm good for now. How's it look? I know I didn't change anything major - I like to tinker, small changes here and there. Probably one of the reasons Cathmor is an engineer, aside from the draw of Thorium Grenades back in the day.

That's all for now. Hope you have an easy maintenance day!

When Bloggers Collide

Ratshag linked over to Windpaw's blog and a funny post about a fictitious encounter with an infamous Dwarven hunter. It's not retribution related, or paladin related, but I got a chuckle out of it, being a closet-RP'er.

In a thought exercise, I browsed down my feedreader to see who amongst bloggers I read I would write a similar encounter about. It dawned on me that, aside from a select handful, almost all the blogs I read are written by Alliance mains. I wonder if this is just my internal preference for the "noble" Alliance, there are just more Alliance blogs out there, or there's some other factor.

Mutterings and Mumblings 1-23-09

Some random thoughts as I head toward the weekend...

I don't understand how Alltop arranges the blogs on its "virtual magazine rack." I'm sandwiched between Megs and BRK, and right next to Tobold. There's no way E4AE belongs in such company, it's a much smaller readership with a much narrower focus.

I have a ton of quests unfinished on Cathmor. Half of the Storm Peaks, a good deal of Icecrown, a handful of Zul'Drak, and all of Sholazar Basin. I'm a completist, so I want (no, need) to do them, but my freshly minted death knight is calling out for attention. I got him through the death knight starter area the other night and now I want to mess around with him. Death knight is fun once you figure out how all the skills fit together.

Is it sad that the first alt I'm truly jazzed about playing is the one that plays very similarly to my main character? Am I just a two-hander junky? I need to branch out more.

Orcs with glowy eyes look cool.

Siha's right - having the Lich King as involved as he is in the death knight starting area cheapens the experience a bit. I loved what they did with the DK starting experience, but having Arthas so hands-on at every stage seems odd. In BC, there wasn't enough Illidan, but in WotLK, there's almost too much Lich King.

I hate the look of Redemption shoulders. I did in vanilla WoW, I still do in WotLK. I want new shoulder graphics, pronto. I might start carrying around my Lightbringer shoulders and wearing them out of spite.

A lot of bloggers out in the WoW-niverse host or have appeared on podcasts of various sorts. It recently occured to me that I've never listened to many/any of them. I feel like I should give some a listen - especially BRK's, I love listening to him on his hunter guide movies. I don't even play a hunter, it's just fun to listen to him get all hyped up about stuff.

Should I migrate my blog to another platform? Wordpress, perhaps? Or give it a makeover? E4AE has never been especially easy on the eyes. I've been messing with the sidebar recently (which you RSS feed readers can't see, nyah nyah).

Blog Azeroth seems to be a lot slower than when I was last active on the forum. Why is that?

I want to do more 25-mans, but don't want to commit to an X-day-a-week "mandatory" schedule or spend precious hours wiping with a$$hat FPUGs. I also don't want to transfer or leave my guild (which I cannot do 25's with, since my classes will clash with their raid nights this semester). I'm in a predicament.

I must do more arena. The Deadly Gladiator libram will be mine.

Finding time to do the Glory of the Hero achievements is becoming a problem. I have a handful left, and I want that darn proto-drake, but I can't be arsed to schedule a run ahead of time. Nowadays, I don't know when I'll have time to play. This is also factoring in to the previously mentioned 25-man predicament. And I'll be damned if I PUG some of those achievements. I'm not that crazy.

Speaking of PUGs, I was in a pick-up 10-man Obsidian Sanctum group last reset and ended up as top damage. Yea, I know, top damage in a PUG, big deal. The funny part was that I did close to 30% of the total raid damage. /facepalm

Okay, that's it for now. TGIF!

Google Verb!

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but I subscribe to the Vlogbrothers YouTube channel. Hank and John Green are silly people. They sure make fun videos, though! Hank recently posted one about a meme/game involving Google and your name - take your name, pick a verb, Google them both together, and record the results! Well, here are my results. Enjoy:

Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
A: Josh needs a holiday or just a cuddle.
You know, I could use a hug...

Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
A: Does anyone know what Josh looks like?
I am pretty mysterious.

Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
A: It's clear that when Josh says "f*ck" he's totally biased against Obama!
... what?

Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
A: ... Josh wants sex to be kinky...
Whoa, hey now...

Q:Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
A: Josh does brain surgery
Now we're just getting ree-god-damn-diculous

Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
A: Josh hates life
You don't know me, Google! You don't know me at all!

Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
A: Josh asks the CSS Guy about row locking with jQuery.
Row locking? jQuery? Now I speak a foreign language?

Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
A: Josh likes Men.
In a totally neutral, platonic way. It's guy love, between two guys.

Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
A: Josh Eats Drake.
I hope that's referring to Drake's coffee cakes. Those are delicious.

Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
A: Josh Wears a Red Cape.
I'm a superhero.

Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
A: Josh was arrested for Distribution of Marijuana with intent in Spring 2005.
... I'm a superhero drug dealer?

Q: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google Search.
A: Josh loves hayley?!?
... I'm a superhero drug dealer that may or may not love someone named Hayley?

Well, there you have it folks. Apparently, I'm a lot more interesting than I thought, with the cape-wearing, kinky sex-wanting, and prior for weed trafficking. Now you know, and knowledge is power!

Secret Blogger ESP

Do I have some sort of psychic link to other bloggers? I posted a mailbag this morning, and so did Rohan and Megs. It's almost as if I telepathically conferred with them in my sleep and said "hey, let's all post reader submissions tomorrow!"

... or not. Coincidence I'm sure.

... OR IS IT?

Dun dun duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

ANYway, I updated the FAQ again yesterday with more accurate enchanting advice (thank you Fedaykin98 for pointing out that there are no WotLK strength enchants... I was aware whenever I logged into the game, but whenever I was sitting in front my blogger screen, that fact just whizzed over my head). Enjoy!

Attack of the Birds

Anyone remember how I made note of all the bird-themed NFL franchises making noise this year? Yea, well, chew on this for a while, courtesy of Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy:

So you have the Cardinals beating the Seahawks in Week 17, then the Falcons in Round 1, and now, potentially, the Eagles in the NFC title game. Meanwhile, if the Ravens topple the Steelers, then the Cardinals could potentially beat every other NFL team with a bird nickname during their improbable five-game winning streak to capture the Super Bowl, and if that's not enough, birds took down Thursday's U.S. Airways flight heading from New York to Charlotte ... the city that's home to the team Arizona beat five days ago in Round 2. All I can tell you is this: Something better not happen to Larry Bird. You hear me, Arizona? Leave the Basketball Jesus out of your weird bird vendetta! Got it?

Cover your heads, football fans, it's the year of the bird. I'm utterly stunned by the fact that the NFC representative in the Super Bowl will not bring with it a double-digit regular season win total, and that if the Sports Guy is right, we might be watching the team that was last in the NFL in rushing yardage in the big game.

If it comes down to Ravens vs Cardinals in the Super Bowl, I'm going to have to betray every moral fiber in my body and pick the Ravens to win. I still haven't fully recovered from the debacle that was Super Bowl XXXV, but just going by team mascots, the Ravens are scarier. That Cardinal doesn't instill confidence in them or fear in their opponents. Plus, you know, defense wins championships, and the Ravens' defense smashes people in the mouth.

But if I go with my team mascot theory (which is tried and true during March Madness, so why the heck not in the NFL?), then we're staring at an Eagles-Ravens Super Bowl, with the Ravens still winning. And I'd want to jump out a window watching that game, 'cuz I hate both teams.

I blame Eli. No wait, Kevin Gilbride. Bah, this is terrible.

Mutterings and Mumblings 1-15-09

Seal of the Martyr / Seal of Blood is stupid. Paladins shouldn't have to cut themselves to maximize their damage. You know who does that? Warlocks. Warlocks are the polar opposite of paladins. Paladins wear plate - warlocks wear cloth. Paladins hit stuff with big, honking weapons - warlocks set stuff on fire from a distance. Paladins can heal others - warlocks can steal the life force of others. There's a trend here, and none of it points to both classes sharing a commonality. I don't want to hurt myself to hurt you, this is all patently silly.

DPS who can't beat the tank in damage should have their DPS license revoked and forced into remediation classes on the first offense. Seriously, 1000 DPS wasn't acceptable at level 70 in T5+ raids, and it sure as hell ain't any rosier nowadays, especially when the tank is doing 1100+. There is no fight in WotLK that has such a difficult enrage timer that extraordinary DPS and raid stacking is necessary. If a group can't beat an enrage, that's an indication that at least some of the group needs to (and I hate invoking this term, but it's warranted in this case) L2P.

Divine Purpose works on King Ymiron's paralyzing scream thing. I need to make a list of what else it works on in PvE. Between a Divine Purpose-empowered Hand of Freedom and Every Man For Himself, I'm nearly unstoppable.

I need a new trinket. The Sphere of Red Dragon Blood is great, I love it - but it's time for an upgrade. I have a bunch of hit rating on other gear to replace it, like the bracers I picked up from Grand Widow on Tuesday. Should I invest in a Darkmoon Card: Greatness or just pray nightly for a Loatheb's Shadow?

Speaking of the bracers from Grand Widow, I'm going to actually listen to my (and the EJ community's) advice and enchant them as well as my gloves with AP... soon. Expertise is nice, but more AP is better.

I'm consistently dropping 10k crits from Judgement of the Martyr in 10-mans while my wings are up. That's ree-dick-you-luss.

I hate the Oculus. I want the red proto-drake, but I vowed never to go back to that instance after the last time I was there. Bleh, that sucked.

Does the blue proto-drake from Skadi even exist? BRK has one, I've seen it! I don't ask for much, I just want a sweet blue ride.

Okay, maybe I just want a proto-drake.

When 3.0.8 comes out, I'm buying the new Kirin Tor DPS ring. Expertise, strength, an extra Dalaran hearth... I wants it.

Is the mechano-hog plan worth buying? I don't know if there's much of a market for them.

I need to make some Saronite Bombs for Wintergrasp fun. Also, Megs is a genius.

Whoa...Um, Hi?

It's funny what a little spotlight on WoW Insider and a bit of link-love from Rohan will do for a site. The scary part? It's only 11 AM, and today's numbers have all ready doubled my high from December (to say nothing of the ridiculousness that was Wednesday. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - who are all you people?)

To those who are new to the site, welcome. What we do here is babble about retribution paladins and their place in World of Warcraft, mostly slanting toward PvE, and occasionally indulge my need to drone on and on about gaming research or football or music whenever I feel like it.

Anyway, thank you WoW Insider and Rohan for the lovin'. Much appreciated.