Attack of the Birds

Anyone remember how I made note of all the bird-themed NFL franchises making noise this year? Yea, well, chew on this for a while, courtesy of Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy:

So you have the Cardinals beating the Seahawks in Week 17, then the Falcons in Round 1, and now, potentially, the Eagles in the NFC title game. Meanwhile, if the Ravens topple the Steelers, then the Cardinals could potentially beat every other NFL team with a bird nickname during their improbable five-game winning streak to capture the Super Bowl, and if that's not enough, birds took down Thursday's U.S. Airways flight heading from New York to Charlotte ... the city that's home to the team Arizona beat five days ago in Round 2. All I can tell you is this: Something better not happen to Larry Bird. You hear me, Arizona? Leave the Basketball Jesus out of your weird bird vendetta! Got it?

Cover your heads, football fans, it's the year of the bird. I'm utterly stunned by the fact that the NFC representative in the Super Bowl will not bring with it a double-digit regular season win total, and that if the Sports Guy is right, we might be watching the team that was last in the NFL in rushing yardage in the big game.

If it comes down to Ravens vs Cardinals in the Super Bowl, I'm going to have to betray every moral fiber in my body and pick the Ravens to win. I still haven't fully recovered from the debacle that was Super Bowl XXXV, but just going by team mascots, the Ravens are scarier. That Cardinal doesn't instill confidence in them or fear in their opponents. Plus, you know, defense wins championships, and the Ravens' defense smashes people in the mouth.

But if I go with my team mascot theory (which is tried and true during March Madness, so why the heck not in the NFL?), then we're staring at an Eagles-Ravens Super Bowl, with the Ravens still winning. And I'd want to jump out a window watching that game, 'cuz I hate both teams.

I blame Eli. No wait, Kevin Gilbride. Bah, this is terrible.